Supporting someone trying to conceive a baby is challenging because you want to help but don’t want to say something hurtful.
The truth is that a fertility journey is highly emotional and personal; different coping mechanisms are effective for different individuals, and what works for one couple may be overwhelming for another. Here are some easy ways to show support that will not feel pressuring or uncomfortable.
1. Listen Without Trying to Fix Anything
Most people don’t need a long list of solutions. They simply need no-agenda listening, something that is crucial when being a supportive force in someone’s journey to create a family. It can also make them feel up to 40% less stressed, Harvard Medical School says.
Of course, you won’t have to give suggestions unless they ask. Sometimes, the most supportive thing you can do is sit quietly with someone, wait for them, and assure them that they’re loved no matter what.
2. Avoid Assumptions or “Helpful” Fixes
Sometimes, even the most well-meaning sayings, such as “Just relax” or “It’ll happen!”, do more harm than good. The problem is that fertility is really a very crappy experience, so being there for someone who’s trying to conceive requires restraint and empathy.
Just don’t go for the miracle or cramp-tip solution. You’re not even supposed to fix any one thing. As much as possible, stick to the supportive script, and when in doubt, less is more; “I’m here” and “I’ve been thinking about you” are less harmful messages.
3. Show Support Through Small Actions
A Mental Health Foundation report shows that small acts of personal kindness can increase emotional well-being by more than 20%. There are many small actions you can take that help with emotional support during fertility struggles, including writing a thoughtful message on a difficult day.
Help out with some chores. Cook them dinner. Ask if they would like to talk. You don’t need to say much. A silent act of kindness reinforces supporting someone trying to conceive without adding pressure.
4. Respect Their Privacy
The truth is that everyone has their approach to sharing, and sharing or not sharing things is completely okay. According to an APA study, people feel 38% more emotionally safe when their privacy is taken into account during difficult times.
Besides, allow your conversation partner to lead the talks; if they do not mention consultations, procedures, or news, there is no need to ask. This approach is especially important when supporting friends or family with infertility.
5. Keep Conversations Pressure-Free
According to the ABS data, the external atmosphere adds stress for those trying to conceive, which is why supporting someone in this process also means keeping conversations light when needed.
However, if a couple tries to strive in high spirits, they should rather discuss topics that elevate them: recent wins at work, hobbies, plans, or what helps them rest. This creates a judgment-free space where they can simply be themselves.
6. Offer Help, but Let Them Decide What They Need
Support is most effective when given softly. A WHO report found that giving people control over their health decisions can enhance their emotional resilience by 35%, reinforcing and supporting someone trying to conceive with respect.
For example, instead of automatically driving them to an appointment, ask first. Offering options and allowing them to decide keeps support empowering rather than overwhelming.
Support That Feels Safe and Genuine
You do not need to come up with the perfect advice or make grand gestures to be supportive. The most important thing for a person in a similar situation is empathy and respect for fleeing.
